The Hourglassed Life | Bethany

Hey everyone. I was inspired to write this as Mindy Gledhill's song, 'Hourglass' was playing on my laptop.

To be honest, looking at my age at this very moment, I've come to realize that when I was little, I would have never imagined myself to be where I am today. I knew the day will eventually come but I never knew how I would've handled reality. I think I was around 5 when I questioned what my life would've become at xxx years old. I always assumed I was going to screw things up because I didn't think I was capable of doing things I'm doing today.
When I began pre-school/kindergarten, I never thought the year I would be graduating high school would come so soon. I'm not saying this as I'm graduating next month or something but it's definitely within the time period of 'anytime now' (if you consider the rate the Earth is orbiting or at least how it feels). As I write this, I'm aware that my high school graduation will very soon approach and I just can't seem to grasps reality.
As far as I recalled, I was only beginning high school and yet I'm about to leave so soon.
LOL, I'm speaking as if I'm leaving tomorrow - but seriously....
I'm sorry. This post is pretty depressing and sad....
So, being the Bethany that I am, I thought adding a random picture of a donut would lighten the mood :)
Can you imagine though, those friends you see everyday will soon become someone you'll probably never meet ever again? Your lives may never cross again and it just makes me sad that I won't be seeing someone for the rest of my life ever again and to top it off, I'm not quite informed about their existence in my schooling life either.

I guess I'm not ready for adult life. I'm not ready to wear the graduation gown and cap and stand in alphabetical order as they hand us our certificates (?).  I'm not ready to say goodbye to the teachers that made my schooling life so much more entertaining (a.k.a their weird shenanigans that creates a good joke for my friends and I to laugh about). I'm not ready to hear the last bell ring nor experience my last fire drill.
I'm just not ready to say goodbye to anything and everything.
As cliché as it sounds, I can relate to the song 'Hourglass' really well - cause my perception of this is; when you're old and wrinkly; sitting on a rocking chair while knitting, you'll suddenly reflect on the past and realise that life really is an hourglass. Once your time is up, gone are the days and memories. Can you imagine that scene? And suddenly recalling all the bittersweet memories you've experienced...From parties at the beach to innocent kiddie games at the mere age of 5.

For me, my eyes well up by just thinking about it now. It's kinda crazy how fast the world has evolved and so have I. Sure there are moments you wish you'd forget but then there are times when you just want it to last forever. It's just that time is moving so fast; it scares me - even more than the 'monster under my bed'. (I don't believe in that but I'm just saying...)
One day, I won't wake up to my alarm telling me to go to school. I won't wake up to having my friends; the people I grew up with just a classroom away. I won't wake up to my parents, my family that has witnessed my growth into a lady / woman / girl / human / unspecified being with the self-proclaimed-Scientific term 'Bethany'.
This all brings down to why I don't want to live forever. I fear watching the people I love go before my eyes.

The Earth seems to be orbiting faster and faster as each day passes by.
10 years seems like a long long time but in perspective, it's just around the corner. It's just weird that 10 years ago, it was 2006 and not back in the 90's era. I've never really seen it that way - that time is really passing by quickly. And yet we're already approaching Christmas 2016. Didn't I just write my 'Ho-Ho-Holidays' post yesterday?
Did we really begin writing on this blog for almost 2 years now? (1.5 years to be exact LOL)
I clearly remember my first day of elementary school and now, I'm approaching my final stages of high school. Before I know it, I'll be in university, I'll graduate and begin working life, I'll (hopefully) be married, I'll have children and grandchildren and the cycle goes on and on.
From milestones in life to accomplishments.
Life really is, an hourglass.
Happy December!
Suddenly an emo soul,


  1. Well, you are not alone! XD I'm pretty sure most people, if not all, have these thoughts at least once. Though... I wasn't that worried about leaving high school because the friends that I knew I liked I knew I was gonna keep in touch with and the people I knew I didn't like, I knew I wasn't gonna have to see them again XD and now a days there are sooooo many ways to "keep in touch" or "stalk" the online and stuff, so I was never really worried. But, I'm the sort of person that really looks forward tot eh future anyway :) I like change and doing new things and experiencing new things. Though, I admit, I'm thinking about this a bit right now because I might be leaving once job for a new one that I don't think I'll like as much... but it still might be better for me in the long run. But, alas, its not like its gonna be terrible XD if I really hate it, I can just quit and go back to my job XD There are always options and ways to make things happen :) As for the feeling of time going by quicker and fearing losing people... technically time does seem to go quicker as you get older because of... math XD Seriously, there is a math reason for it XD
    And when I feel like I'm fearing the future and change I just bring it to God and pray and tell him im worried and fearful and stuff. As I've gotten older I know how my brain works though and I curb it in the first place by just trying to trust and know that God has a brilliant life laid out for me and that even though my life is great now, it will be better latter :) So, I just hope in the future and thank God for what I have now. ^_^

    1. Haha I'm actually kinda worried to leave high school but at the same time, I do look forward to it. I do agree that the future is nice to look forward to haha though I think my way of thinking is pretty contradicting as I would like to try new things but at the same time, I'd rather things stay the way they are. I usually give new things a shot becase YOLO LOL but if it goes wrong, I'd question my life choices and avoid trying new things for the next few days. I am trying to work on that though :)!

      But good luck on your new job! I'm sure you'll learn to enjoy it and even if you don't, like you can always go back to your old job hahaha. And yes, I totally agree that whether or not we're going through tough times, God is always the answer!

      - Bethany

  2. Yeah, as nice as it would be to have the "best of both worlds" the past and the future, unfortunately it doesn't work that way XD Though, there are way to hold on the the past in a good way, by keeping up good relationships and stuff :) Its seems hard, and I'm sure its harder for some than others, but all in all, moving forward is good ^_^ So far, I've found anyway XD It aint too bad XP


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